Prancing Doe raised her blood stained face to the sky and howled in anguish. Her husband, Coughing Bear, lay scalped and dead at her feet. Her infant female child bounced violently within the basket being carried away by a warrior of a renegade band. As the warrior rode off with the screaming infant, on his side hung the fresh scalp of the child’s father.
Sinking to her knees, Prancing Doe knelt next to her dead warrior husband. Paying no attention to the open gash on her head, she began hoarsely chanting his death song in order to find his way safely to the hunting grounds where the Grandfathers waited for his arrival. When finished, Prancing Doe pulled out one of the sharp flint tipped arrows still protruding from his back and dug the arrows tip deep along the length of her arms to slice open the arteries inside until she lost consciousness.
In the brightness of the hunting grounds, Prancing Doe knelt beside Coughing Bear as he stood tall and spoke. In wonderment, she saw that all of the tribes Grandfathers were present. Many she only knew by songs and legends, others she had loved and cared for in life.
After addressing the Grandfathers in greeting, Coughing Bear honored them by singing each their own song as was taught to him as a child. It may have taken days but no one cared since the sun never set in the hunting grounds of the afterlife. When finished, the pipe was passed. The Grandfathers approved and the Great Spirit breathed his pleasure over the gathering which caused a stirring of their unbraided hair. A Grandfather rose and Coughing Bear was given by him a fine strong ash bow and a quiver full of straight arrows. Another gave him a sharp knife. In appreciation, Coughing Bear held a tightly wrapped bundle of sweet grass out to each Grandfather. He then stood, left Prancing Doe behind and joined the Grandfathers to his rightful place in the hunting grounds.
As one, each Grandfather turned their respectful gaze to Prancing Doe. The grandfather that had presented her husband the bow and quiver, sang to her a song of honor. Prancing Doe was humbled. When she felt brave enough, she looked up and he spoke to her.
“Prancing Doe. You have swept the leaves from the trail so that Coughing Bear would not lose his way here to the hunting grounds. You sang until his feet stood upon the holy ground. He was not waylaid by the trickster on his journey because of you. You honored him afterward by sending your own spirit to him as a guide and helpmeet. We are pleased. We give you honor and gifts.
The aged Grandfather held out his hand and in it hung a necklace of strong medicine charms. Some were of carved beaver teeth others knapped flint or precious blue stone. Prancing Doe was afraid to touch such powerful medicine. “Take this, wear it.” He told her, “By touching each in their own order, the honor of what you have done for Coughing Bear will be transformed into the power the Great Spirit has blessed you with. The power to heal, the power of seeing in the dark, the power of smell and the power to look down upon your enemy as does the Eagle in flight.”
He placed the necklace over Prancing Does head. The power of it was so great Prancing Doe feared it would consume her and said so.
Seeing her eyes flash in fear the aged Grandfather reassured her, “It is because you are humble that you fear its power, that is good.”
“ Grandfather, I understand and am honored beyond my own might. Still, I am confused. Why would I need such power here? Is this not a place of peace where death visits us no more and where no sickness abides? “
“To those like your Coughing Bear and those true warriors that have come before him, yes, that is true. Every Grandfather from every tribe is here. There is room for all. The Great Spirit flies above us all and as one people we give him honor. In return he blesses us with no hunger or death. Those who were evil, liars and boastful in their own mind are not here with us. They are sitting on their hemorrhoids brushing away gnats and spiders and serving Iktomi the trickster in the land of the dead.”
When you arrived, we were of like mind that you should be called a new name. Prancing Doe is a child’s name, a name of innocence and naivety. It is a name with little power to go before the people of the plains, the mountains and the forest. No, to do what needs to be accomplished you must have a powerful name. You are now called Ina Hoka. Even a warrior of great courage turns from a mother badger. Nothing pursues as the badger and nothing has more determination to protect her young than a mother!”
Ina Hoka blinked. “ Gandfathers, Nothing has such power as the Ina Hoka, all fear her. Why do you bestow me with such power?”
“There is one who does us no honor. He is the one who hid during the attack upon you and your family. He hid from harm behind his horse until Coughing Bears back was to him. Only then did he step forward pretending to be brave. He killed from behind as Coughing Bear struggled face to face with another brave warrior. He shamed us all with his cowardice. By taking Coughing Bears scalp he shamed us even further. Many Grandfathers shouted displeasure and demanded his tribe be banished until Maka Cesli pays for his dishonor. You are to return to the living people and claim your female child. You are to return to save the tribe Maka Cesli was birthed from forever being dishonored. And lastly, you are to return to receive the precious gift we have asked the Great Spirit to bless you with.”
“Grandfathers, I will do as you ask. As for further gifts, I am blessed far too much already. But I must ask you this, is his name truly Maka Cesli? Skunk Feces? If I am to find him, tell me the name he is known to his people by, for I do not want to mistake another for him.”
‘You are wise Ina Hoka. Though we have vowed never to utter that name again, we will this one time say it, then never again will it be uttered here in the hunting ground. Ohinni Lowacin, I am always full of hunger, is a name no people shall ever use again. His name will be forever Maka Cesli. Even the Trickster will despise him.
Now Ina Hoka, Listen to me with all your might!
When you return to the living land, your eyes will be opened and our talk here will remain strong within your memory. Return and find your child. Now go with our blessing.”
Ina Hoka lifted her eyes beyond the grandfathers to gaze once again at the endless grassy plains and purple mountains of the hunting grounds. She had never seen such beauty before. She would miss the affection of the Grandfathers but knew someday they would smile again upon her final return.
Stepping up to a bundle of smoldering sweet grass she wafted the aromatic smoke over her head then fanned it towards the assembled Grandfathers. Once blessed with the sweet smoke, she touched each Grandfathers hand lightly in reverence. She turned and glanced about in search of Coughing Bear. He stood proudly smiling at her with raised palm. She returned his farewell wave and suddenly screamed in pain.
“Hold on Ma’am, please lay still or you’ll bust open the dressings I put on your arms. I know they must hurt a load but for your own good, please lie still.”
Ina Hoka woke up screaming from the pain in her lacerated arms. She lay on a makeshift outdoor bed of soft grass and covering her was a stiff cloth of some sort. Turning her head she saw she was still in the same killing field as before. Looking frantically about, she noticed fresh graves had been dug and her husband’s body was no longer lying next to her. True to what the Grandfather had told her, she recalled in perfect clarity her visit to the hunting grounds and all that had been spoken.
Speaking in her own tongue to the man squatting beside her, she asked where her husband’s body was.
“I’m sorry Ma’am, I don’t speak Indian very well, just some trading phrases and such. I found you lying here almost dead. You’ve lost a lot of blood but I got the best of the bleeding most ways stopped now. ”
When she had turned her head, something shifted slightly on her chest, slowly moving her hand to her throat she discovered the strange feeling was the necklace. As if she had spent a lifetime doing so she skillfully fondled the healing beads and chanted. Within a few breaths time, her eyes cleared and her contorted face relaxed as the agony of the pain began to subside. When the pain became manageable, she asked the young man who was attending to her wounds about her husband.
“My husband?” She asked in English, “Did you bury him?”
Jerking backwards her rescuer jumped back in surprise, “Wha?? I’m sorry, you gave me a start Ma’am that’s all. I did not think you spoke any English”
“Yes, I do. My husband, is he buried?”
“If the young warrior that got himself kilt near you was your husband then yes, I gave him a Christian burial along with them old folks too. I heard you Indians bury a person facing East so I did that for them. Ma’am, to tell you the truth, at first I thought you was dead too.”
“I was about to move you over to that there grave I dug when I noticed you were still breathing. After I patched you up, you woke up and started screaming bloody murder. I’m tellin’ you Ma’am, you sure got a powerful set of lungs!”
Ina Hoka understood most of what the man said except for the odd reference to her lungs. She understood her husband was buried with honor and this man had been used by the Grandfathers to also save her life. She made a mental note to ask the Great Spirit to repay his kindness by blessing him when she was up to it.
“I’m putting up a tent over you so don’t get frightened, alright Ma’am? You won’t be moving for a while yet and I wanted to make sure you’re out of the weather if it begins to rain. By the way Ma’am I go by the name Thomas, Thomas Payne… like the famous Thomas Payne…only I’m not him. ”
“Why do you stop to help me?” She asked.
“Shucks Ma’am, what did you think I’d do? Leave you here all alone to die?”
“Are you a medicine man To-mas that you knew to care for my wounds?”
“No, I’m no Doctor Ma’am. When I was a boy, my Daddy showed me a trick to closin’ up cuts when I was a kid. See that big ant hill over yonder? What you do is rustle up them folks till the big fighters come pouring out of the hive. Then you grab onto one behind the head. If you take the two sides of the wound and squeeze ‘em together and you place the ant just so, the ant will use his pinchers to bite you. All ya’ do then let him pinch the two sides of the wound tightly together with his bite. Once he’s forced the two sides together you pinch off its body and the head stays there keepin’ the wound closed and you end up with a fine stitch. I poured some whiskey on your wounds and the gash on your head to keep you from getting’ a fever from infection. It took a couple hundred ants to sew up your arms but I think it’ll heal fine like. I’m sorry but I don’t have any willow bark to ease your pain.”
Ina Hoka smiled up at him saying, “I have my own means of making my pain leave me.” She placed her hand over her necklace and told him, ”My name is Ina Hoka, I must avenge my husband and find my daughter that was taken by Maka Cesli.”
“I’m not sure who this Maky Selsa fella is but it’ll be a bit a time a’fore you can go chasin’ after him. I’m thinkin’ that if you can tell me where your tribe is, it’d probably be best if I could get you over to them as soon as possible. I’m thinkin’ they might go on out after that Maky Selsee fellow for ya’.”
“The Grandfathers named him Maka Cesli not Makee Selsee, it means skunk dung! His people still call him Ohinni Lowacin. He is from a tribe that we have struggled with for many winters now. We have fought them over the right to hunt buffalo on the land. At one time there were many buffalo and we all lived in peace.”
“When the buffalo became few, the young warriors of his tribe would not listen to the elders and made trouble. Since that time, war between us has become more and more. Maka Cesli leads a band of young warriors wanting to make big their name to shame their elders into making the big war with my tribe. They have attacked women and children left alone in their lodges while the men went off hunting. I am saddened for my husband’s parents. All they wanted was to see the buffalo one last time before death from old age claimed them. My husband showed them great love and honor in bringing them here to fulfill their desire. Now they are all dead. When I can stand on my own, I will go find Maka Cesli’s camp and take back my daughter. I am a mother badger. I will chase him until he has no strength left and his legs fail him. Before I kill him I will cut off his man stick and send him to the Trickster choking on it!”
Thomas sat fully down in the long grass and looked at the young Indian girl lying there with bandaged head and arms. “I just bet you will too!”
The summer days passed quietly on the plains. Ina Hoka grew in strength and Thomas tried his best to learn her tongue. He thought at the least, it would come in handy living in the western plains where tribes still wandered freely about. But if the truth be told he began to find Ina Hoka a fascinating woman and discovered she was pleased at his attempts to speak the tongue of the Sioux. Her smile was a reward he looked forward to. He had seen few women as beautiful. Thomas spent part of the day away from Ina Hoka gathering dried buffalo chips to feed the camp fire and spent time gathering wild plants and any meat he could find. As her wounds healed, Ina was able to take on more and more camp chores. The day eventually came though that she had to tell Thomas he was a terrible cook. She shoo’d him away from the gathered supplies and turned a once bland meal into a delicious stew. From that moment on, each began to take unto themselves the chores expected of a man and a woman.
One evening as they sat next to each other eating, Ina looked over at the man who had so unselfishly cared for her. She was troubled in her heart. She had the task asked by the Grandfathers to find Maka Cesli and her daughter but found she did not want to leave the company of Thomas. “To-mas, I am near the time I must go and find my daughter and kill Maka Cesli.” She then told him of her near death and all that had occurred during that time she was in the hunting grounds.
“How in heavens name will you, a lone woman, be able to accomplish all this? Don’t get me wrong Ina, I know you got the sand to do it but we don’t even know where they’s at.”
Ina Hoka lifted her necklace to him, “The grandfathers gave me this gift. It has powerful charms.” It comes not from this land but from the hunting grounds. It gives me the power to heal, to see into the night, to smell beyond that of the bear and to see as the flying eagle sees in flight.”
“If it heals, why did you not use it to heal your own wounds?”
“The power to heal is not for me but for someone else. When I lay there in pain, I asked the Grandfathers to heal my wounds but they told me it was not meant for me but because I asked, they would at least grant my pain to subside. That much I know. Who it is meant to heal, I do not know. Maybe it is for another time, not now.”
“Have you tried the other charms?”
“Yes, each time you leave to hunt or gather I follow you as the Eagle because I worry on your safety. Before we sleep, I search the night prairie as the Owl.” Then with a giggle she said, “Once I used the smelling charm to smell the distant mountain flowers.”
“You say that giggling, why?”
“To-mas, forgive me but your cooking smelled so bad that if I had not had the smell of the wildflower to revive me, I would have fainted!”
Saying that, the two of them broke into a howling laughter. “Good Lord Ina, it did have kind of a skunky smell to it now that I think back! It musta’ been them weed lookin’ things I added to the meal”
The evening sky darkened as they sat enjoying each other’s company and soon the only light was cast from the glowing campfire. Seeing Thomas’s handsome face framed in the glowing light, Ina could no longer keep her thoughts from becoming words.
“To-mas,” She said quietly, “I do not want to part from you. My heart is torn, it lays on the ground. My husband enjoys the hunting grounds as an honored warrior now. He will have no need or desire for a wife anymore. I have asked the Grandfathers of this. They told me so. I am happy for him yet I am feel shame that I desire to feel as a woman feels for a man so soon after his parting. Though we come from different peoples, I have come to respect you. More than that even. I want you to share my blanket.”
Thomas scooted himself closer to her and placed his arms over her shoulder. She leaned into him.
“Ina, all this time I’ve been trying my darndest to get you to notice me as more than just a ramblin’cowboy that wandered into your life. I was sure you would never look at me as a suitor. To tell you the truth, as much as I was happy being around you it made me sad at the same time. In your tribe, can a man like me marry you?”
“I have a secret to tell you To-mas. We have spent almost a full moon together alone on the prairie. Even though we have not slept under the same blanket, my people would assume we did. If we arrived not as husband and wife they would think of me as one who jumps from blanket to blanket. You call this woman a whore. To prevent this, I had planned to leave you here as I went in search of Maka Cesli and my daughter. When I returned to my tribe with her, no one would have known about you. But my heart cried out that it wanted you. I could not gather the courage to leave you.”
“So if we showed up at your village, they’d naturally assume you and I are married. But if we act like we wasn’t married, they’d look upon you as a whore and treat you as a outcast?”
Thomas stood up and knelt before Ina Hoka. Taking her hand in his he spoke to her. “Ina, I know we got some big differences between us. I’ve always figured a woman would come my way someday but not until I saw the world an’ made my fortune.”
“I ain’t no good at this Ina so I’ll just come clean with it. I have fallen head over heels in love with you and I think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid eyes on. I know you said folks would just assume we was married but I’m askin’ you if you’d make it real. Will you marry me? I know there ain’t no one around to say we are but isn’t there something in your tribal way that we don’t need a preacher or judge to be married?”
“By lying together, the Grandfather will know. In their eyes they will see our love and accept our union.”
That night, under a moonlit night under a blanket within the confines of the canvas tent, Ina Hoka became Thomas’s woman and wife. He became the husband to Mother Badger who still had a dangerous task before her. In her dream Ina Hoka spoke to the Grandfather concerning her marriage. “It was not good that you should be alone in life. When we sat face to face last moon, I had told you of one more gift we honored you with. It was the gift of being loved. Thomas is our gift to you. He is a good man, brave and protective. He has a large heart that now beats for you. Go now, seek your child and destroy Maka Cesli. Your husband Thomas will be at your side.”
Morning found their camp broken and far off in the distance a man could be seen walking next to a woman who was riding horseback. Together they headed westward where the spirit of a flying Eagle had spotted the band of Maka Cesli many days ahead of them.
Two weeks later, under a dark evening sky that found the couple within a few miles of where Maka Cesli’s band was camped, Ina spoke to Thomas. “Listen to me my husband. I have powers that you do not have. I am afraid for you. I will soar once again as an eagle in the night. With my Owl vision I will see all that I need to know. I will descend within the camp and kill Maka Cesli. Then after I have humiliated him, with my talons I will grab up my daughter and return here to you. I must warn you. If they have given honor to the Unkcegila, then the Unkcegila will try to stop me. They are evil spirits that roam the land and hate those that are good. As an Eagle I can fly safely above them but you will be as a mouse to a hawk. I must chant a song of protection over you. Be still and say nothing. Whatever you see, do not let it frighten you. I am singing a song of the giant warrior. He will ride across the sky mocking the Unkcegila and daring them to attack him. They will spit and scream at him as he passes above them. The Giant Warrior will keep the eyes of the Unkcegila upon him and away from you. When I return, the Giant Warrior will become as a mountain and crush the Unkcegila under his weight. He will sit upon them until we are safe and far away.”
Thomas tipped his hat in a sign of affirmation. “I ain’t even gonna’ question any of what you’re tellin’ me Ina. I sure ain’t never heard of such things but it sure ain’t my place to say it can’t be so. Go ahead, sing your song sweetheart, I’ll try not to foul my drawers at what I see goin’ on.”
Ina Hoka told Thomas to sit. Standing over him she began her chant. Thomas was afraid her raised voice would alert someone in Maka Cesli’s band yet after a few minutes he could see no unusual movement by the bands campfire light.
As he watched the firelight miles away, his vision began to play tricks on him. The far away campfire began to waiver. It seemed to move first to the right then to the left. Sometimes it seemed close and other times very far away. Voices could be heard but he could have sworn he did not hear them with his ears. His body took on the weight of stubborn mule causing his arms to dangle uselessly at his side. Across the sky swept a faint blue light as if dawn was about to break. From out of the light in the sky a mountain appeared. As the mountain traveled from east to west it took on the shape of a warrior upon a white horse. The warrior held his coup stick high and screamed insults at an unseen enemy. It was then that he realized he could no longer see Ina Hoka yet her singing was as loud as a nearby drum.
Thomas was about to speak when he remembered her instruction to remain quiet. He realized that if he made even the slightest noise, then whatever evil spirit that was creeping in the prairie grass would hear and attack him. He knew no bullet could protect him from the Unkcegila but that was the duty of the Giant Warrior.
Thomas could now see confusion in the camp. Warriors ran back and forth. With demonic howls the Unkcegila clawed the prairie sky trying to disembowel the Giant Warrior’s horse riding above them. The Giant Warrior laughed and threw insults and humiliation upon the spirits as he rode just out of reach above and past them. The evil land spirits howled and jumped trying to gain enough height to destroy the horse he rode on. Even the horse whinnied back in laughter.
“Aaiiieeeee!” A long horrible scream came from the encampment. It was shameful for a warrior to scream from pain but then Maka Cesli was no warrior. The Giant Warrior paused and pointed his coup stick toward the camp. He threw back his head and laughed. Thomas felt the laughter strike him as close thunder would during a prairie storm. His chest reverberated from it and his head ached from the pressure. Realizing the mountain sized warrior was positioned above the half driven mad Unkcegila demons , he watched as the Giant Warrior settled himself down on top and crushing them.
The pain in Thomas’s head became almost too intense not to shout out. A giant eagle carrying a child in its talons flapped it’s powerful wings and settled behind him. Just when he felt he could stand it no more, he felt a pair of loving arms wrap themself around him from behind in a hug. Ina Hoka’s calming voice spoke softly into his ear.
“My husband, rise, we must be off. The light of dawn will soon be upon us and we must leave while the Giant Warrior holds down the spirits of the land while it is yet dark. All has been accomplished tonight.”
To Thomas, he felt as if he had suddenly awakened from a dream. No longer could he see the Giant Warrior or the gasping Unkcegila. Wailing sadness could be heard from the camp but no warriors mounted to seek revenge for the humiliating slaughter of their leader.
Holding the child out to Thomas his wife spoke to him, “Rise, and see our daughter, is she not beautiful?”
Thomas rose and cradled the tiny girl in his arms. “She’s beautiful all right, she looks just like her Mama.”
The subject of the child’s upbringing and what path she would follow had never been discussed between them. Realizing it must be settled before they entered her tribe’s encampment Ina Hoka asked Thomas who’s culture would they all belong to.
“Well,” Thomas thoughtfully replied, “It seems I’m a bit outnumbered two to one. Ina, I would want what makes you and our daughter happiest. I was always a bit of a drifter after I left home. I would like to plant my roots next to yours if that’s alright with you. Besides, if we lived in a city of white men and I began telling folks all I’ve seen here tonight, they’d lock me up as bein’ crazy. I think it best for all of us if we put our roots down inside a teepee lodge with your people rather than a square house made of wood and stone among strangers.”
“Yes, that makes me happy. I will yet have much explaining to my tribe of all that has happened since my leaving the village. While they will be of sad heart to hear of my husband and his parents deaths, they will sing songs of happiness for our marriage and the return of my child.”
As the three made their way eastward Thomas asked, “Ina, I need to ask you something. Is there some reason why our baby has no name?”
“In our band, a child’s name is given to her by her father. She is yours to name. If you look upon the child your heart will be open to her name. Sometimes if it is an important name the Grandfathers will give you hints other times your Totem will speak to you.”
“I’ve actually just been thinkin’ on that. I would like to give her the name your mother was called. I want to give your Ma some sort of honor seein’ as how she raised such a wonderful daughter herself. What was her name?”
Ina Hoka walked closely beside her husband Thomas as he continued to cradle the child in his arms. “How honored am I?” she thought. “All the gifts that the Grandfathers have given to me and now my husband honors not only me but my own mother. I am complete.”
“Her name is Kimo. It means to be brimming with hope.”
Thomas stopped and lifted the now giggling child to the predawn sky. “Daughter, today you are called Kimo!”
As he handed the baby girl now named brimming with hope back to Ina, a golden shaft of morning sunlight split the dawns clouds. The narrow shaft struck the three where they stood.
Ina Hoka looked up at her husband and smiled widely. She held Kimo closely to her breast and spoke to her husband.
“To-mas, the Grandfathers are pleased you remembered my mother and gave honor to her. Stand quiet as they bless our family with the morning sunlight.”
Thomas looked up into the dawns parting clouds and swore they took the form of an old Indian proudly smiling down upon them. As the clouds continued to be blown clear by the morning breeze, the prairie lit up in the splendor of the sun.
“I love you Ina Hoka, Mother Badger.”
Ina chuckled and wrapped her free arm around his waist, “I love you to To-mas, and like the Badger, you will never escape my love.”
“Why would I ever want to leave you? You’re the best cook I ever met!”
Laughing she squeezed his waist. “So it is true then what the old women of the lodges say of their men? That all a wife is good for is cooking and keeping the Tee Pee clean?”
Chuckling he squeezed her back and replied, “That and uh, you know…”
She quickly tiptoed and kissed him and said smiling back naughtily, “Oh yes, we shall never forget that, will we?”
“Not in my life time we won’t!”
As their laughter drifted over the dew wet prairie, the grandfathers in the sky above looked at each other and smiled. The Grandfather that had blessed them spoke aloud. “Huh, he reminds me of when I myself was young.”
In the distance an elderly female chuckled and was heard to exclaim, “In your dreams my husband, only in your dreams!”
Have you published some of your books yet? I think you should if you haven’t already:)
I’d love to do a kindle ebook but I’m stumped (old school brains) on what all the jargon is. I bought the 10 easy steps to a kindle book but as I said, it’s a bit above my pay grade and I can’t afford a real editor. 😦
I think your stories, chapters etc. are very well written and I wish there was an easier way to get published for you:)
There is it’s called either knowing a publisher (Having blackmail photos of one might help too) or having the $ to hire an editor. Since I don’t know any publishers to black mail I guess I just keep writing blogs instead 🙂
🙂 Where there is a will there is a way….parents always told me that growing up…never give up hope and keep a going:)
My Mama once told me when I was in my late teens that if I ever give up, my brother wants my car. It’ll be a cold day in Hades before he ever see’s my car in his driveway!
Seems Ina knows how to kill mafia style. If I was not a Christian I think the animism/shamanism and ancestor worship of the Native Americans would not be a bad choice.
I know what you mean. I sometimes have a bit of a time myself (being 1/2 redskin) with all the beliefs. I hope no real Sioux reads this because for story purposes, I had to butcher a bunch of stuff about the afterlife. How do you write a story with 16 levels of the afterlife and a whole herd of spirits good and bad on each level. They sure were a superstitious lot! Being a Born again Christian sure seems a lot easier! LOL
In the Egyptian Book of the Dead there over 60 characters, tests and tasks to perform before reaching the entry to the top. That’s why pharaoh is equipped with so much junk in his tomb he made need. The common Egyptian had no chance but proper burial and a life that would pass scrutinizing judgement was the least he could do to have some entry at the beginning which would be satisfactory for one’s lower station in life. Jesus lived his first 12 years in Egypt and have often wondered how much the Egyptian obsession with the afterlife influenced his teachings and modified his Judaism. The only real relic we have to understand Egyptian religion is the Book of the Dead which describes the afterlife journey which gives no indication of worship in everyday life. Certainly the gods in charge of various aspects of life needed appeasement and there were offerings and festivals.
Godd story, well witten as always, good medicine Big Oak! I will also remember that ant-trick, might come in handy.
Awwww I love a happy ending! Good story!
Thanks! I really enjoyed it.
Great story! Very interesting detail about Native American beliefs.
Thanks! the beliefs are a bit compressed and simplified for easier reading but the jist of the hunting grounds and grandfathers are there.
Wow, what an incredible read! I so enjoy your stories. I sure would like to be introduced to your muse!
You already are familier with my muse. Its called the desire to live in your story book dreams. Being a poet, you know it 🙂
I read it again this morning! 🙂
Wow! what made you do that? Tell me what was the reason? Plot, writing, theme???
Well, you’re ability to have the patience to do the research is baffling to me for one thing. Then to put it all together with a style like nobody else is very inspiring. You’re a talent all your own… I like to step beyond ordinary and I’m sure I speak for many.
Thanks! Your comments (and other folks too) help to define how I write. Knowing your own poetry, I take what you say to heart because you write your poems not only from the heart but you use facts and your own experiences too to set a scene. 🙂
Thank you, I am taking that as a compliment! 🙂
You should 🙂
Another terrific story Campfireshadows. You rock! You sure are one very talented who definitely deserves a good publisher so more people can read these great stories (and you can begin to be compensated). Also, since I saw in an earlier comment that you’re inclined toward blackmail as a possible solution, I know a guy who is great with a camera!
Ha ha! A fellow conspirator !
I have the feeling that I’m going to be like most famous artist… broke, poor and unheard of until after they die. Then, they become famous and their relatives become wealthy beyond their dreams selling off their junk (artwork). 🙂
BTW thanks for the encouraging comment. I need to be careful, I feel my head swelling! LOL
I finally had a chance to read this, Joe. Full of passion, and I love the significance of names given in this story. I hope you don’t mind, I’m sending a small nod in your direction on my blog tomorrow. Really glad to be in touch 🙂
Heck, I’d take your mention as what it should be, a high compliment! Glad you liked the story. I had to combine and shorten some of the beliefs as in folklore there are 16 levels of the hunting grounds! Way too many for a story:)
Gosh… my favorite one yet. I’ve missed out on reaching your short stories. Obviously I was waiting for this one…
I didn’t finish reading the thread above because I didn’t have much time. Get an English Teacher to edit your stories and provide feedback 🙂
I need more than an English teacher, I need someone who knows how to edit for Kindle books. Formatting is beyond me. I’m still a computer dumb bell. If I knew an English teacher, she’d probably just end up smakin’ me around for butchering the Kings language…or something like that!
Interesting. I’d really like to know how they should be formatted. Send me a link if you have one…
Haha… I think you don’t have to worry about the King’s English unless you’re in the UK… but I know a lot of men who fantasize about British school teachers smacking them around, so you might want to reconsider.
I fantasize about getting my ass smacked around by nuns… wait, that really happened so that’s not a fantasy. I’ll send you Kindles free book link on putting an ebook on Amazon/kindle 🙂
PS, glad you got the job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Although I feel it must be said that I teach and I find very few places for improvement.
Well I know you sure aren’t talking about me personally! LOL
Thanks for the boost in esteem! I have a problem of run on sentences 😦
Most publishers want to make sure your opening line is short and catchy. Rule of thumb is don’t use more than 3 commas in a sentence and definitely don’t combine commas with ; or :. With that being said, I wrote what I thought was a fantastic paper on the city of Bangalore in college. The first line consisted of 36 words. My professor said that it was absolutely grammatically correct but he gave me a C because he didn’t think it was reader-friendly. Bummer.
Well there ya go! Me and my dang commas and whatever those other things are called! My rule of thumb is this. If it sounds like something I’d say in person, I write it. I like commas, they delay things a bit.
I bet the guy who wrote throw mama from the train was your professor. The night was hot, wait no, the night, the night was humid. The night was humid, no wait, hot, hot. The night was hot. The night was hot and wet, wet and hot. The night was wet and hot, hot and wet, wet and hot; that’s humid. The night was humid. The night was dry but raining…
Lol! Maybe so!
You should start submitting to magazines… Reader’s Digest and the like.
I read online what they and other mags require…OMG it was insane. Almost every mag now requires you to format to their standards before they will even think about reading it. Each mag has their format and submitting requirements posted online. I found a web site that has all of their urls listed. I wanted to commit suicide but I had already used up all my bullets shooting my lap top! LOL
Ok, I’ll quit leaving disjointed thoughts before I finish everything I need to say now.
My gosh, this is a huge post but excellent. You’re writing books, not posts! Excellent. My laptop became a book…
I wish there were a real venue for short stories other than a blog site. I do belong to an online writers group but it was quickly taken over by controversial poets who were bound and determined to go for ‘shock value’ rather than good writing. The site then divided up the different genre but put ended up putting short stories way down the list (so far down you had to know the site to find it) that any new submissions were nearly impossible to find. Oh well 🙂
I am honored to nominate you for the Reality Award and the One Lovely Blog Award! Please pick-up your award at http://grandmothermusings.com/2012/10/20/a-lovely-touch-of-reality/ Copy and Paste the Award to your blog and follow the rules of acceptance. I wish you many blessings. Congratulations!!
Have you tried looking up possible publishers in “The Writer’s Digest Handbook 2012”? This is a listing of all the book and magazine publishers out there and their requirements for submission. Your stories are wonderful and should be published!! 🙂
I did that recently and found each publisher had their own requirements on formatting, editing etc. Most would not accept a manuscript unless you were already a published author. In order to send out a manuscript, it seemed I would have had to re write each story to fit their requirements. I decided I would like to publish an ebook on Kindle/Amazon. The only problem is, I have no idea what they are talking about regarding formatting for the kindle reader. Oh well, maybe someday I’ll either learn or become rich enough to hire someone to edit and format my compilation of short western stories into a book.
BTW, thank you for the award! I’ll pick it up ASAP after I get done here 🙂 Joe
What a beautiful beautiful story – I have a feeling I’ll be coming back to read this one again soon. 🙂
A more perfect compliment couldn’t be asked for. Thank you!!!! JW 🙂
My friend Bonnie,You may like “The water hole” and “It’s finer in Texas”. Both are not so much a shoot it out story so much as a love story that delves into the spiritual with any preaching. They (like many of my stories) have a feel good ending. JW 🙂
I look very forward to reading those. I have always been very partial to stories such as these. Very glad to have met your acquaintance JW, a big thank you goes out to our man Carl. 🙂
I hope you enjoy them. I’ve already thanked Carl for my introduction to you. Write anytime:) Joe